Pride and self

Greetings to you in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and saviour,

I hope you have great week.Read this Word of God and ponder over it and it will bless you.

Pride and self pity can rob us of our victory in the Lord. Pride destroys because it takes the glory away from God and places it on you and me where it doesn't belong. Self pity and depression are almost inevitable after a great high. Maybe it's because we get our priorities skewed, forgetting how we got to that high and seeing only the slide downward toward normality. Keep your priorities straight. Keep your attitude in tune with God's purposes in your life. Give God credit when He does something great in your life, being mindful that you can accomplish nothing without Him. And then, after the high of victory, realize that a
return to normal means coming down, being lower than you were, but by no means down and out. And, unlike Samson, don't think God owes you for your efforts. You owe Him. Because without Him you can accomplish nothing. Even your next breath depends on His willingness to give it to you. Thank Him and glorify Him in all things in your life. Make Him your focus, rather than yourself. 

God's blessings in your life and families

Bro El Batsa Accra, Ghana

River of Water

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
Psalm 1:3

Therefore my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58

Many times in "the garden of life" we are forced to make decisions that are often not easy. There are times when our convictions are not convenient so to speak for others and sometimes difficult things to conform to ourselves. We have to choose what we are going to become; a tulip or an oak tree. Allow me to explain the analogy.

You see an oak tree can be fully grown and strong, so big that people are forced to walk around it. No one steps on an oak and an oak can withstand any kind of pressure whether storm, wind, snow, etc. But a tulip, although beautiful when in bloom can also be grown up but people can still step on and destroy it easily; a tulip is very vulnerable.

Many times in the midst of a decision that we must make we become one or the other; do we stand strong in our convictions and hold fast to our beliefs or do we allow others around us to trample us like the fragile tulip. But there are also times when we are in that "tulip condition" that God sends us people to be "fences" for us. Sometimes tulips need a fence to be built around them to protect them so that they can continue to grow and it is at those times that God sends people around us to be that fence and help us stay strong in those choices.

We would all like to be like that oak tree 100% of the time but it simply just does not happen. There are times when we are all weakened from the fight and sometimes feel like we cannot go on but that is when we need to meditate on scriptures like those above; when we are striving to be like that oak tree we will be strong and unmovable. All that we put our hands to do will prosper because we are striving to be strong in the Lord. And like the final scripture in 1 Corinthians, knowing that our labor in the Lord is not in vain. Sometimes we feel like all we do for the Lord can be in vain because of the choices that others make for themselves. But it is wonderful to know that our laboring down here is not in vain for one day we will know what awaits us.

So the next time you have to make a decision, think to yourself...am I a tulip or an oak tree? "Life's a garden....dig it!"

El Batsa, Accra, Ghana

Hearing

Matthew 16:21-23

The most potent hearing aid known to man is the Holy Bible. It is the standard of truth against which you can test every message that comes your way.

Making a decision on an issue important to you can be extremely difficult. Sometimes it may seem as if you are hearing two or more voices, all of which make seemingly good points but also tug you in different directions. It is important that in these times you learn to discern the voice of God.

There are several principles you can apply to what you're hearing to gauge whether it is of God, but the most basic is whether the message conflicts with Scripture. God won't tell you to do something that counters what He already has recorded for all mankind.

Therefore, the best way to know God's voice is to get to know Him.
Spend time in His Word and soak in His truths. You must know God's Word before you can differentiate God's instructions from the messages Satan or your flesh are sending you.

Do you know how investigators are trained to recognize counterfeit money? They don't spend all of their time trying to keep up with the latest technological advances in creating false money. Instead, they first and foremost diligently study the original, the real thing.

Then, held against the standard, the fake stuff stands out.
El Batsa, Accra,Ghana

REMEMBER THESE WORDS PONDER ABOUT THEM

The will of God will never take you,
 Where the grace of God cannot keep you,
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.
 
The will of God will never take you,
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.
 
The will of God will never take you,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.
 
"Everything happens for a purpose. We may not see the wisdom of it all now, but trust and believe in the Lord that  everything is for the best."
 
The way to be anxious about nothing is to be prayerful about everything
May the good Lord bless you and keep and make His shine upon you and give His peace

El Batsa, Accra, Ghana

Nothing Is Impossible 

Suggested Bible Reading

The Lord appeared to Abraham by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the entrance of his tent in the heat of the day. He looked up and saw three men standing near him. When he saw them, he ran from the tent entrance to meet them, and bowed down to the ground. He said, "My lord, if I find favor with you, do not pass by your servant. Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree. Let me bring a little bread, that you may refresh yourselves, and after that you may pass on-since you have come to your servant." So they said, "Do as you have said." And Abraham hastened into the tent to Sarah, and said, "Make ready quickly three measures of choice flour, knead it, and make cakes." Abraham ran to the herd, and took a calf, tender and good, and gave it to the servant, who hastened to prepare it. Then he took curds and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and set it before them; and he stood by them under the tree while they ate. They said to him, "Where is your wife Sarah?" And he said, "There, in the tent." Then one said, "I will surely return to you in due season, and your wife Sarah shall have a son." And Sarah was listening at the tent entrance behind him. Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age; it had ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, "After I have grown old, and my husband is old, shall I have pleasure?" The Lord said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh, and say, "Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?' Is anything too wonderful for the Lord? At the set time I will return to you, in due season, and Sarah shall have a son." But Sarah denied, saying, "I did not laugh"; for she was afraid. He said, "Oh yes, you did laugh."

-Genesis 18:1-15 (NRSV)

Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)-SARAH and Abraham were well advanced in age by the time they received God's promise of a child. Sarah had already passed the age of having children, so as she heard God's word she laughed in disbelief. But God assured Abraham that with God, nothing is impossible; the promise would be fulfilled. Abraham didn't doubt God's word. Rather, he was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God.

Many times God promises to do great things in our lives to bring joy to us and glory to his name. But too often we question God; we even doubt what God can really do. Because of our pride, impatience, and lack of faith and hope, we end up trying to rely on our own strength to achieve success in life. By doing so we hinder, even ignore, the power of pine intervention in our lives.

Just as for Sarah, God will fulfill the promises to us. Regardless of our circumstances, we can trust God and hold on to the faith we profess. God who promised is faithful. At the appointed time, Sarah received the fulfillment of God's promise, (Gen. 21:1-2) and so can we.Júlio Romão Chavane (Maputo, Mozambique)

UNSEEN BEAUTY

Psalm 104:5-24 (NRSV)

You set the earth on its foundations, so that it shall never be shaken.
You cover it with the deep as with a garment; the waters stood above the mountains.
At your rebuke they flee; at the sound of your thunder they take to flight.
They rose up to the mountains, ran down to the valleys to the place that you appointed for them.
You set a boundary that they may not pass, so that they might not again cover the earth. 

You make springs gush forth in the valleys; they flow between the hills, giving drink to every wild animal; the wild asses quench their thirst.
By the streams the birds of the air have their habitation; they sing among the branches.
From your lofty abode you water the mountains; the earth is satisfied with the fruit of your work. 

You cause the grass to grow for the cattle, and plants for people to use, to bring forth food from the earth, and wine to gladden the human heart, oil to make the face shine, and bread to strengthen the human heart.
The trees of the LORD are watered abundantly, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.
In them the birds build their nests; the stork has its home in the fir trees.
The high mountains are for the wild goats; the rocks are a refuge for the coneys.
You have made the moon to mark the seasons; the sun knows its time for setting.
You make darkness, and it is night, when all the animals of the forest come creeping out.
The young lions roar for their prey, seeking their food from God.
When the sun rises, they withdraw and lie down in their dens.
People go out to their work and to their labor until the evening. 

O LORD, how manifold are your works!
In wisdom you have made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.

Consider the lilies of the field . . . even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.
- Matthew 6:28-29 (NRSV)

MY husband is a photographer who specializes in nature photos.  One time, standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon, he saw dark storm clouds coming and knew they could make dramatic pictures.  He had only one shot left on the roll of film in the camera and wanted a fresh roll to use on the coming storm.

Rather than waste that one shot, he looked around for something to use it on.  A reddish-purple thistle was growing a few steps away.  Quickly he adjusted the camera and took the picture and was ready as the storm with its threatening clouds came closer.

Over the years, that thistle photo has been one of his most popular pictures.  It has appeared on a bulletin cover and a calendar.  The storm pictures he was eagerly waiting for have never been shown; they were not the outstanding scenes he had hoped for.

My life can be like that sometimes.  While I am watching for the "big" thing I want to happen, I don't see the beauty of the events or people God continually places all around me.  Like my husband in his passing attention to the thistle, I barely notice them in my eagerness to get on to something more dramatic that I think will make my life beautiful.

Prayer:  Creator God, help us to see the wonders around us that we have been missing.  Amen.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
We honor God by noticing beauty in the places and people around us.

-- Betty Steele Everett (Ohio, U.S.A.)

PRAYER FOCUS: To see the beauty in this day

LEANING ON THE BELOVED

Psalm 71:1-3, 17-24 (NRSV)

In you, O LORD, I take refuge; let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me; incline your ear to me and save me.
Be to me a rock of refuge, a strong fortress, to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress. 

O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to all the generations to come. 
Your power and your righteousness, O God, reach the high heavens.

You who have done great things,
O God, who is like you?
You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.
You will increase my honor, and comfort me once again.

I will also praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praises to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.
My lips will shout for joy when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have rescued.

All day long my tongue will talk of your righteous help, for those who tried to do me harm have been put to shame, and disgraced.

Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?
- Song of Solomon 8:5 (NRSV)

A number of years ago I proposed marriage to a woman who turned me down.  Afterward, I was depressed, I could not sleep, and I was stuck in a spiritual morass.  I knew that I had to do something.

I asked myself, How can I crawl out of this wilderness? I concluded that true joy comes only from knowing God.  The more I understood God's nature, the more peace I would have.  So I got a notebook and devoted each section to an attribute of God, such as holiness, love, endless power, absolute knowing, forgiveness, and patience.  Then I read through the Bible.  Every time I came to a verse related to one of these attributes I wrote it in my notebook, along with some thoughts about how this particular attribute of God affects my life.

After finishing the entire Bible, I went back to each attribute and put my heartfelt thoughts together into a book.  This study changed my life.  My spiritual foundation was more solid, and my faith was riveted not to circumstances and emotions but to the living God.  When we are in a desert or are feeling defeated and low, we can find our way out of the wilderness by leaning on our beloved -- God.

Prayer:  In the low points, you are there to carry me.  Thank you, God.   Amen.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
The more we understand God's nature, the more we will know God's peace.

-- Robert La Forge (New Jersey, U.S.A.)

Partnering With God

AND THERE was a famine in the land... Then Isaac sowed seed in that land and received in the same year a hundred times as much as he had planted, and the Lord favored him with blessings. And the man became great and gained more and more until he became very wealthy and distinguished; He owned flocks, herds, and a great supply of servants, and the Philistines envied him." (Genesis 26:1a,12-14)

We said in my last message that the instructions Isaac received from God contradicted reason. He was to stay in the land despite the difficult conditions. What followed is a beautiful example of what happens when we partner with God to bring His covenant and His influence to bear on our circumstances.

"For we are laborers together with God...." (1 Corinthians 3:9)

Isaac planted at least one crop (maybe more!) when all around him farmers were failing. As he did, God put his "super" on Isaac's "natural," multiplying the results. Notice that Isaac didn't "camp" in the land and do nothing, waiting for God to miraculously provide. Instead, he "occupied" the land and engaged in business. This, my friend, is how to partner with God.

Isn't it fun that after it says he received a multiplication of results, the Scripture then says, "...and God favored him with blessings..."?! Most of us would've been happy with great business results, but God's plan was bigger than that. By making Isaac a person of great influence, God was able to get the attention of the neighbors. Later in the chapter we find out that they came begging for partnership with Isaac because they saw that God was with him.

Friends, in every so-called "downturn" there are those who excel. If you're under pressure today, make God your partner. Allow the pressure to increase your capacity. God wants to bring His influence to bear on your circumstances and on your sphere. It's time for believers to occupy the "mountain" of business. This may very well your season for it!
David G. Johnson
of Epiphany Marketing, LLC

Better Than I Thought!

Suggested Bible Reading

"You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot. "You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

-Matthew 5:13-16 (NRSV)

Today's Scripture

Jesus said, "You are the salt of the earth. ... You are the light of the world."

-Matthew 5:13,14 (NRSV)

WHEN our weekly Bible class ends, several of us usually gather for coffee and discussion. Last Wednesday the conversation turned to self-image. To my surprise, several persons in the group admitted to often feeling down on themselves.

I was surprised because I, too, often experience such feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Too often these assail me at inopportune times, leaving me wrapped in despair. I had not realized, however, that my classmates had similar experiences.

One of our group began to speak. "I often feel real low and despairing," she said, "but then I recall what God thinks of me - 'You are the salt of the earth. ... You are the light of the world.'" What a great outlook! Of course God has a high estimate of us - and tells us so in scripture! God made us, and so God loves us. God listens to our prayers and answers them. We are significant players in God's work in our part of the world.

We do well to remember Jesus' words: "You are the salt of the earth. ... You are the light of the world."

Melvin Lukenbach (Minnesota, USA)

Prayer

Thank you, Lord, for loving us, for guiding us through life's pitfalls, and for strengthening us in uncertain times. Amen.

Rise Up!

READ: John 20:1-8,19-20

1Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!"

 3So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. 4Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. 6Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, 7as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. 8Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed.

19On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 20After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

You, being dead in your trespasses, . . . He has made alive together with Him. - Colossians 2:13</

On February 6, 1958, a chartered plane carrying most of the members of the English football (soccer) club Manchester United crashed on takeoff from Munich, Germany. With so many of their star players lost, some despaired over prospects for the club’s survival. Yet today it is one of the best-known teams in the world. Fittingly, the man who rebuilt the team, Matt Busby, survived the crash himself.

Nearly 2,000 years ago, Jesus’ arrest and subsequent crucifixion caused many of His followers to despair. The disciples themselves had lost hope. But their despondency evaporated on that first Easter morning when they found that the stone sealing the tomb had been moved aside (John 20:1). Jesus had risen!

Jesus soon appeared to Mary Magdalene (vv.11-16) and then to His disciples, who had gathered behind locked doors (v.19). His visit brought a remarkable change in them. As one version renders it, they were “overjoyed” (v.20 NIV).

Perhaps your world has crashed around you. It may be a deeply personal loss, a tragedy in your family, or some other great trial. Jesus’ resurrection proved that He is greater than the greatest obstacles. He can rebuild your life - as He did with His disciples - starting today.- C. P. Hia

He rose! And with Him hope arose, and life and light.
Men said, “Not Christ, but death, died yesternight.”
And joy and truth and all things virtuous
Rose when He rose. - Anon.

God can turn any difficulty into an opportunity.

The Great Storyteller

READ: Luke 15:11-24

11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he pided his property between them.

13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[a]'

22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

Jesus spoke to the multitude in parables; and without a parable He did not speak to them. - Matthew 13:34

In his book Teacher Man, Pulitzer Prize-winner Frank McCourt reflects on his 30 years as a teacher in New York City high schools. He used a variety of techniques in his English and creative writing classes, but one that seemed to surface again and again was the power of a compelling story to capture attention and encourage learning.

This method of instruction was used by the greatest Teacher of all - the Lord Jesus Christ. The scholarly religious leader Nicodemus said to Jesus, “We know that You are a teacher come from God” (John 3:2). Yet when Jesus addressed the crowds that followed Him, He didn’t recite great truths of the Talmud. Rather, He spoke with the homespun style of a storyteller.

The parables of Jesus endure because they showcase matters of the heart. Through the story of the Pharisee and tax collector (Luke 18), we learn about God’s grace and forgiveness. And the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15) showcases God’s love for repentant sinners.

The inspired parables of Jesus teach us about Him and the life He wants us to lead. We too can use our faith-stories to point others to the ultimate Storyteller and Teacher, whose own life is the greatest story ever told.- Dennis Fisher

Take control of my words today,
May they tell of Your great love;
And may the story of Your grace
Turn some heart to You above. - Sees

A good way to learn God’s truth is to teach it to others.

CALLED

READ: Romans 12:3-8

Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them. - Romans 12:6

In September 2001, Lisa Jefferson had an unexpected opportunity to be used by God. Her now well-known 15-minute conversation with a passenger on United Flight 93 forever changed the direction of her life. In her book Called, she emphasizes that her listening skills and her ability to take charge and stay calm in a crisis were used to encourage fellow believer Todd Beamer in the last moments of his life.

She didn’t ask to be used that way. But God saw a woman who was available and matched her with someone who was in need. Lisa now shares her story with whomever she can to encourage believers to always be ready to serve.

Not only has God given us natural abilities, He also equips every believer with spiritual gifts for the purpose of ministry. God doesn’t use the unwilling - He won’t force us to serve Him. His part is to equip us (Eph. 4:11-13) and empower and prepare us for service. Our part is to be faithful and available and aware of opportunities to use our gifts (Rom. 12:6).

When you feel impelled to help fill a need, when you are inwardly driven to serve - listen to those thoughts. You don’t want to miss God’s call.- Cindy Hess Kasper

In gladness I go forth each day
Expectantly to serve and claim
The happiness that service gives
When freely rendered in God’s name. - Anon.

God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary work.

Hear Their Cry

READ: Exodus 22:22-27

You shall not afflict any widow or fatherless child. If you afflict them in any way, and they cry at all to Me, I will surely hear their cry. -Exodus 22:22-23

CNN recently reported that there are approximately 40 million widows in India. Fifteen thousand of them live on the streets of the northern city of Vrindavan. Unfortunately, many of their families do not hear their cries. A 70-year-old widow says, “My son tells me: ‘You have grown old. Now who is going to feed you? Go away.’?” She cries, “What do I do? My pain has no limit.”

When God gave His people instructions in the desert, He told them they had a responsibility to care for widows and fatherless children in the land (Ex. 22:22-23). They were to leave some of the harvest in the field for them, and every third year they took up a special tithe for the needy. God expected His people to hear the cries of the powerless, defend their rights, and care for them.

The Israelites were commanded to care for others as a remembrance of their experience in Egypt. When they were in trouble and cried out to God, He heard their cries and helped them. So their memory of oppression and release was intended to mold their values, attitudes, and actions toward the powerless in the land (Deut. 24:18-22).

Let us imitate our Father by hearing the cries of the needy in our world.- Marvin Williams

To love your neighbor as yourself
Is not an easy task,
But God will show His love through you
If only you will ask. - Sper

The closer you are to God, the more you’ll have a heart for others.

What a Man Brings to Marriage

Cliff Young

We often focus on what we will get out of a marriage relationship:  Is this person my soul mate?  Does she speak to me?  Does she affirm me?  Do her strengths compliment me?  And so forth. 

Perhaps it's time to start focusing on what we men can bring to a marriage relationship and to start working on these areas right now in our lives, so that we will have something to bring to the table (a man's dowry, if you will) before making a lifelong commitment.

"It is painful, being a man, to have to assert the privilege, or the burden, which Christianity lays upon my own sex.  I am crushingly aware of how inadequate most of us are, on our actual and historical inpidualities, to fill the place prepared for us."

-- C.S. Lewis from God in the Dock

As men, we are expected (by society) to be cool, dress fashionably, make a lot of money, drive a sports car, have chiseled looks, and have it all together in order to be "marriage material."  As Christians, we are to be God-fearing, prayerful, seminary scholars on the path to eldership within our church.  Since most of us fall short of these so-called expectations, what can we do to bring the most to our marriages and where do we start?  We can begin by delving deep into the following passage.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).

How did Christ actually love the church?  Simply put, through sacrificial and sanctifying love.

Sacrificial Love

As a single adult, the term sacrificial is not at the forefront of my thoughts.  My day usually revolves around me, my needs, my wants and my desires.  However, for me to prepare to be the best husband I can be, I must begin now to incorporate sacrificial thinking into my daily life.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31).

Jesus so loved the church that he gave himself up for her through his death.  If we are to love our wives someday as Christ loved the church, we must be prepared to die to ourselves in many ways that are a part of our everyday lives.  As two people become one, inpidual freedom, time and desires should be replaced with (or at least negotiated) with marital goals, obligations and activities.

Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?  (Acts 9:4).

Persecution of the church caused pain deep within Jesus' soul as indicated by His response to Saul.  Christ chose to suffer with His bride; husbands must be willing to share in the struggles of theirs.  It is not only a commitment, but also a sign of love.  Her problems, disappointments and losses become yours; mine and hers become ours.

I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them (John 17:9-10).

Jesus spent His time on earth, including his last moments, praying for Himself, for those closest to Him and for the church.  One of the most intimate things a couple can do is to pray together.  It would only follow that one of the most precious acts that a husband can do for his wife is to pray specifically for her.  Don't just make it a "dinner time" prayer, go off each day and fervently cover your future wife in all areas of her life.  If you are currently in a relationship, ask how you can pray for her and do it.

I don't know what it will be like to be married someday, but after all of my years of living single, I recognize that I will need to die to myself in many areas of my life, be prepared to share in both the triumphs and the struggles of my wife, and pray fervently for and with my future mate.

Sanctifying Love

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word(Ephesians 5:25-26).

Marriage under Christ is a relationship that will bring two inpiduals closer to Him and cause both to change for the better, making each more holy.  It is the responsibility of the man within a marriage to help lead the couple closer to holiness, towards sanctification.

The head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God (1 Corinthians 11:3).

Today, we have a mixed message of what true leadership is.  Is a leader someone who scores a basket or a touchdown and beats his chest drawing attention to himself?  Is a leader a politician who uses their position not to serve but to self-serve?  Was Adam, our first male role model, a leader by following his wife into sin instead of standing up for what he knew was wrong?

The movie We Were Soldiers, starring Mel Gibson, depicted the life of Lt Col Hal Moore during his service in the Vietnam War.  His motto was, "We will all come home together."  His men fought for and alongside him so diligently because he led with integrity, by example, and with love.  That is true leadership.

To be that kind of leader, who leads a marriage closer to sanctification, we (men) must first place ourselves under the Lordship and authority of God.  Only through our relationship with Him can we learn how to live out His Word in our heart, exemplify His Word in our actions and follow His Word in how we love, which will all lead to holiness.

Lead with Integrity

For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health...till death do us part. 

-- Common wedding vows

With the porce rate hovering around 50%, I often wonder what happens to these vows that are made when a couple says, "I do."  A wedding is one of the few times in life where a person makes a public vow in front of God and witnesses, and chooses to enter into a commitment of marriage based upon love, not feelings. 

Leading with integrity in a marriage means memorizing and living out verses like these.  If we truly love God and love others according to Scripture, we will honor our commitments and God's commandments will live deep within our soul.  When we reach that point, we will lead our marriages with integrity, grow closer to God and to each other.

Lead by Example 

In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you.  You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people.  Let your lives shine brightly before them (Philippians 2:14-15).
 
When God returned to the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Life (Genesis 3:8-20), he called to Adam and asked, "Did you eat fruit from the tree from which I commanded you not to eat?"  His response was not that of someone who was leading by example.  Adam's first words were, "You gave this woman to me..."  God calls us to take responsibility for our actions, confess our wrongdoing, and repent. 

Marriages need that kind of a leader, one who is willing to admit his wrong and one who is leading under the Lordship and guidance of the Lord.  Leading by example doesn't mean bringing attention to your achievements or telling others what they should be doing.  A husband can pray in solitude, help his wife without asking, spend time with the children, and show love to his wife through his actions.  Whether married or not, we can all lead by example.

Lead with Love 

Love is patient, love is kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  Love does not demand its own way.  Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.  It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

I have heard these words spoken at almost every wedding ceremony that I have been a part of and I wonder if anyone really considers what this verse is saying.  Love is patient affects almost every other emotion or reaction in a relationship.

A patient person is less likely to be jealous, boastful, proud or rude

A patient person is probably less demanding

A patient person is probably more forgiving and understanding.

A patient person is more likely to listen first before reacting (and not react emotionally)

A patient person is more likely to wait on God

If love is patient, then patience is probably one of the most important traits a leader can have, especially if he wants to lead with love.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it....In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies.  The man who loves his wife loves himself.  No one ever hates his own body, but feeds and takes care of it.  And that is what Christ does for the church (Ephesians 5:25, 28-30).

Jesus' message for us is clear.  We are to love our (future) wives as He loved the church, in a sacrificial and sanctifying way; we are to love her like we love ourselves.  It seems simple enough and it can be if we learn to take our eyes off of us and our personal desires.  If we place our eyes on the Lord, we will learn to live more sacrificially with our lives, our time and our prayers.  As we do, our lives will become an example of integrity and love to others.  This is what we can bring to a marriage.

So men, besides that ugly chair you can't get rid of, what are you bringing to a marriage?